To Become Happy, Transform Anger into Forbearance

 

Manjushri, the Boddhisattva of Wisdom who cuts through delusion with a flaming sword, was a favorite of the 8th c Buddhist monk and scholar Shantideva.

            I continue to find rich connections between Ancient Indian and Greek philosophies of life, especially Buddhist and Hellenistic (e.g., Epicurean, Stoic) schools of thought.  These philosophers developed therapies for the troubles we find throughout ordinary life.  We want to become happy.  But how do we do this?

            The Greeks debated whether we should completely eliminate harmful emotions, such as anger and fear, or instead find a balanced way to be angry or fearful.  The Stoics said we should get rid of these emotions, whereas Aristotle said we should beware the mistake or “vice” of deficiency even with anger and fear.  Most philosophers nowadays seem to side with Aristotle.  But I think it is worth developing and better understanding the Stoics’ point of view about this matter.

            Epicurus, too, said we should banish fear from our minds, especially those based on unhealthy, groundless opinions we’ve picked up from the society we grew up in.  Like the Stoics, he didn’t think we should simply eliminate unhealthy emotions.  We should transform them into healthy states of mind and character, or create and substitute good emotions (e.g., Stoic eupatheiai) for the unhealthy, imprudent, or unethical ones. 

            Below, I’ve adapted some insights from the Buddhist monk Shantideva, who lived in 8^th century India and developed his ideas at the university-monastery Nalanda.  Although I’ve re-worded things, and organized them into a different order, the insights belong to him, and ultimately to the Buddhist and Greek intellectual traditions.

 

[adapted from Shantideva’s Bodhicaryavatara, chp 6 “The Excellence of Forbearance”]

It takes effort to become happy, whereas suffering arises and persists with no effort. 

Moreover, it is only through suffering that we can learn to be happy.  If we don’t learn how best to deal with suffering, we will prevent ourselves from ever becoming happy.

            Discomfort, pain, and inconvenience will inevitably arise.  They are distressing.  But we can learn how to tolerate them, and we can learn how to stop perpetuating our distress. 

            By practicing with minor discomforts, we can learn to bear major discomforts more gracefully.  Eventually we can tolerate major discomfort as something bound to happen, or even as a welcome opportunity to practice our ability to deal well with suffering. 

             Also, it is helpful to see that our own choices produce and perpetuate suffering.  The more anger I feel, the more distressed I become.  And what good does it do?  Anger is always distressing in itself, and so a ‘negative’.  And it only rarely produces good consequences, despite our inclination to think that our outrage is merited and that it will help bring about our intended changes.

If there is a solution, then there’s no point in getting angry.  Just work towards the solution and don’t fret.  And if there is no solution, then it is better to adapt. Again, there’s no point in getting angry.

            When I choose to be angry, when I justify my anger (perhaps only to myself), I inflame it.  I get further stuck into it.  I stress myself out, and usually I stress out those around me, too.

            Although I do not wish for suffering, through my ignorance I do wish for the causes of suffering.  Yet I remain optimistic that I can develop deeper understanding and use it to transform myself and change my bad habits into something wiser.

             I can learn to become more patient.  My anger can give way to forbearance.  When I feel offended, I can reflect on the fact that my own interests are not the most important thing in the world, that I am prone to take offense in part because of the priority I give to myself and the confidence I feel in my own interpretations of events.